Setting Expectations for Having Sex After Giving Birth

After giving birth, many women do not feel comfortable having sex. The main reason for this is the physical remains of having a baby are still prominent, the affects of giving birth on a woman's body is extreme to say the least, yet it is our experience that many women feel pressured into having sex too quickly after giving birth.

Although it is not fair to suggest that all women are hurried into having sex too quickly after giving birth, we do know for certain that many men or boy friends pay scant disregard to the physical strains that their partner has just experienced. Whilst most women will be happy to explain to their partner that passing an object the size of a water melon would be enough to put most people of sex for a while, others find coping with these demands hard to deal with.

So how should we cope with the whole question of sex after giving birth? Probably the best thing to do is to set expectations. It is completely unreasonable for a partner to make demands for sex after you have given birth. You have experienced a very traumatic event and it will be some time before you are back to one hundred percent.

By being clear right at the start, your partner should be more understanding and in fact more in tune with what you are feeling. Many women do not feel at their most attractive after giving birth, this will have an obvious affect on their sex drive. There is also the added stress of sleepless nights and irregular feeding patterns.

At the very least, you will most likely want to wait around 6-8 weeks following giving birth before having sex. Even then, it is important that you are completely ready for it both emotionally and physically. If you're not sure, speak with your doctor during your post natal examination. If you think it will help your partner to understand your position more, why not invite him along.

Not having sex following giving birth, does not necessarily mean the end to all bedroom fun. It is still possible to pleasure each other without having full intercourse, for the woman it is best to take things slowly at first and gauge the reaction of your body. You may not wish to be penetrated at this stage, yet enjoy the touching sensation of other areas. It is most likely that your partner will be very happy with any opportunity to release a bit of steam.

Many couples talk about how they feel as though they can drift apart slightly immediately after giving birth. This is because the mother is spending more time looking after and feeding the baby. Men often complain about being left out and although this is irrational, it is an emotional reaction to giving birth, one of which that probably needs to be addressed quite quickly to avoid lingering doubts. If this problem affects you, talk openly with your partner and explain this is common for new families to feel like this. Then go on to explain that things will change for the better.

Read more of our articles on giving birth

Giving Birth and How Aging Effects Your Chances
Does Giving Birth Hurt? Out of Your Comfort Zone
Giving Birth at Home