After a Miscarriage: How Men Can Help

There’s no doubt that a couple suffers in all sorts of ways when they lose a baby in an untimely manner. Women, since they have been carrying the baby in their womb for a time, may feel more anguish and be more expressive about it. They say that miscarriage changes personal relationships and can even break a couple apart. However, it is an opportunity to draw closer to one another and gain strength from each other. Men experience grief in their own way, but they really are the best people to help their female partners cope. Here are some of the things any man can do to show his support during this sad and stressful time:

1. Do not be judgmental about her moods. On some days, she’ll be fine, but on other days, there will be waterworks on end. Do not throw in comments like, “You’re always crying”, or “I thought we were over it”. A woman who loses a baby is actually never over it. She may move on, but she’ll always remember.
   
   
2. Express your feelings about the loss. Your female partner feels better when she knows she’s not alone through all of the pain. If you express your grief and allow yourself to tell her your feelings and thoughts about the miscarriage, you are actually opening doors to allowing her to move on.
   
   
3. Never reassure her that’s it’s going to be fine. The period after a miscarriage is like a limbo – you never know what will happen. Reassuring her is like telling her lies.
   
   
4. Be involved. Go with her to counseling and appointments to doctors. This way, you’ll know what your partner is going through, and will be there to offer support at home.
   
   
5. Never change the subject. A woman who is expressing her grief must be listened to. Never change the subject because you think it’s just too painful for her. It will make her feel like you don’t care.
   
   

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